Episode 23 Truth or Dare

 ANNIE & HECTOR
Ooh! Bridget!!
HECTOR
Truth or dare?
BRIDGET
A dare!
HECTOR
OK. I dare you to copy someone in this room.
BRIDGET
Someone in this room, eh? Nick! 
Right! My turn. Nick!
NICK
A dare! I dare myself to kiss Bridget. Ha-ha, OK!
ANNIE 
Not another dare. Why not the truth?
NICK
The truth?
ANNIE 
Yes! Nobody wants to speak the truth. I dare you, I dare all of you to speak the truth.
HECTOR
OK, let's speak the truth.
ANNIE
For a whole day.
HECTOR
Tomorrow.
NICK
But... no lies?
ANNIE
No lies. 
And the winner, we buy the winner dinner for two at the Ivy Restaurant!
HECTOR
OK, twenty four hours of truth.
Sound of stopwatch counting time
ANNIE
You will the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
WAITER 
Welcome to the Ivy, Miss Evans. Mr P is waiting for you at your usual table.
Sound of stopwatch counting time
ANNIE
The whole truth and nothing but the truth. 
The truth.
NICK
Aarrgh!
ANNIE
What's wrong with you?
NICK
Nothing - at all - really.
ANNIE
Nick, is there no food in your apartment?
NICK
The truth, the whole truth. 
The thing is, Annie, the truth is, on Thursdays I never go shopping. I just take your food.
ANNIE
What? You mean that...
Sound of mobile phone ringing
NICK
Handy!!
Hello? What? An audition? A commercial? When? Oh, I've got to go.
HECTOR
Hi, Nick.
ANNIE
Hi, Hector. What are you doing?
HECTOR
I'm writing Things I Don't Like About Annie.
ANNIE
What?
HECTOR 
Let's use the truth to make our relationship stronger!
ANNIE
OK. 
HECTOR
Go on, write Things I Don't Like About Hector.
ANNIE
OK. Things I Don't Like About Hector.
HECTOR
Hmm.
ANNIE
Huh!
HECTOR
I behave like a big child?!
Hmm!
ANNIE
I shout too much?
HECTOR
See?! You are doing it again!
Sound of stopwatch counting time
ANNIE
So you don't like my carrot cake.
HECTOR
Erm...
ANNIE
And you've never liked my carrot cake.
HECTOR
No.
ANNIE
But you always eat it.
HECTOR
I didn't want to upset you.
ANNIE
Well, now I am cross, very cross.
HECTOR
See? You are shouting again.
ANNIE
I do not shout too much! 
HECTOR
Calm down, please, Annie!
Sound of alarm beeping
BRIDGET
Ooh! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! 
Banging noise/sound of phone ringing
BRIDGET
Hello? John? 
No, I don't want to see you. Goodbye. An old boyfriend, how strange.
Sound of door slamming
ANNIE
So Hector, if we're telling the truth, let me ask you.
HECTOR
Yes.
ANNIE
Do you fancy Bridget?
HECTOR
No.
ANNIE
And before, have you ever fancied Bridget?
HECTOR
Well...
ANNIE
Out! Get out!
HECTOR
But Annie  I  I!
ANNIE
I hate the truth! 
BRIDGET
Annie, do I look fat in these trousers?
ANNIE
Yes. 
To tell the truth, yes, you do look fat in those trousers.
BRIDGET
I can't change clothes. I don't have time. Oh!
ANNIE
And don't forget: one day of truth! 
BRIDGET [Composing email]
Last night was horrible. We played Truth or Dare and I had to tell our neighbour Bernard that I fancied him. 
BRIDGET
You’re the one for me! Please, let’s run away together. Errghh!!
ANNIE
Nadia, I've had a brilliant idea! 
We have to tell the truth for a whole day. 
ANNIE
I dare you, I dare all of you to speak the truth.
Sound of stopwatch counting time
NICK
Hello! So this is a commercial for yoghurt.
CASTING DIRECTOR
That's right, Nick. Yuppy Yoghurts.
NICK
Great!
CASTING DIRECTOR
This is the most delicious yoghurt in the world.
NICK
Wow! In the world! Hmm!
CASTING DIRECTOR
So first we want you to eat some.
NICK
Ugh!!
Sound of stopwatch counting time
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Forty five minutes late!
BRIDGET
'm sorry, Eunice.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
What happened this time? A fire in the house? A burglar? A big monster?
BRIDGET
No. The bus.
WAITER
Welcome to the Ivy, Miss Evans. Mr P is waiting for you at your usual table.
BRIDGET 
No, I'm late because I overslept. 
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
So you overslept? 
Of course, you do need your beauty sleep. Now work!
BRIDGET
My bag! 
Where is it?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Bridget, you know Channel Nine wants new talent? Have you found any?
BRIDGET
No.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Well, I have. 
A new presenter.
BRIDGET
Really? Who?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Me. Look. Hello, my darlings. What? What? Oh, oh. Oh. Hello, my darlings. This is the beautiful Eunice bringing you delight and wonder from Nannel Chine! ... .... from Channel Nine! 
Thank you for all my special reports! Well, what do you think?
Sound of stopwatch counting time
CASTING DIRECTOR
We want you to eat some and then say, "Mmm, delicious!"
NICK
Hmm, dee-licious! 
After I eat this?
CASTING DIRECTOR
Yes. Do you have a problem with that?
NICK
No, no problem at all. Mmm! Mmm!
ANNIE
The truth.
NICK
Hmm! It's dee....sgusting! It’s terrible! 
It's horrible! Euchh! Do I get the part?
CASTING DIRECTOR
Next!
Sound of stopwatch counting time
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Ridiculous? Ridiculous? What do you mean, ridiculous?
Sound of stopwatch counting time
Sound of door slamming
NICK
Stupid yoghurt.
ANNIE
So you didn't get it then?
NICK
No, no.
ANNIE
Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.
NICK
Well, at least I don't have to eat them again. Eucch! Where's Hector?
ANNIE
Hector? Don't talk to me about Hector!
Sound of knocking on door
BERNARD
So where is she?
NICK
Where is who?
BERNARD
Bridget. I got her message and here I am.
NICK
You have got a date with Bridget?
BERNARD
That's right.
NICK
This is a very, very strange day. Huh! Bridget's not in.
BERNARD
Oh.
NICK
Here, have a yoghurt.
BERNARD
Oh, thanks.
Sound of stopwatch counting time
Sound of door opening/closing
BRIDGET
Handbag, handbag, handbag. Oh, Eunice is an ugly, bad-tempered witch! Oh, my handbag. 
Oh, it's you.
Sound of telephone ringing
BRIDGET
Hello? Who? Kevin? Three years ago, Kevin? No! No, I don't! 
Two old boyfriends. First John, now Kevin. Hmm, what a coincidence.
NICK [Composing email]
Today I must tell the truth all day. 
NICK
Mmm! Dee-licious!
NICK [Composing email]
The problem is I lost a job advertising yoghurt. I told them it tasted disgusting!
NICK
Mmm, it’s dee-sgusting!
NICK [Composing email]
Huh! Am I crazy?!
BRIDGET [Composing email]
I am having such a crazy day! 
BRIDGET
Do I look fat in these trousers?
ANNIE
Yes.
BRIDGET [Composing email]
It's very difficult to tell the truth at work all the time. 
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
What do you mean, ridiculous?
BRIDGET [Composing email]
And my old boyfriends keep calling me.
BRIDGET
Kevin? 
BRIDGET [Composing email]
I don’t understand what’s going on!
BRIDGET
What a coincidence!
Sound of stopwatch counting time
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Hello, Bridget. How dare you call me a witch? You are an ugly, bad-tempered witch.
BRIDGET
I didn't send that message.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
No? It's your number.
BRIDGET
My mobile. Someone took my mobile.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Oh, good try. The truth. Did you send that message?
BRIDGET
No! No! 
Someone took my phone!
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
All right then. You didn't send the message. 
So what do you think of me?
BRIDGET
The truth? 
The truth, Eunice, you're an ugly, bad-tempered witch.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN 
You know, Bridget, honesty is a great quality.
BRIDGET
It is.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
It is. I hope honesty will help you... when you look for a new job. 
You're fired!
Sound of stopwatch counting time
Sound of door opening and shutting
BRIDGET
Well, hooray for the truth.
ANNIE
Ziggy's coming later, and then we'll decide who's the winner.
BRIDGET
Oh, what a day. 
I need comfort food.
HECTOR
The truth, the truth is: we were asking the wrong questions. 
Ask me what I think of your eyes.
ANNIE
What do you think of my eyes?
HECTOR
I think you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life.
ANNIE
Really? 
Tell me more.
HECTOR
I think you are the sweetest, kindest...
ANNIE
Oh, snuggly-puppy!
HECTOR
Oh, sugar-plum! Oh, oh...
BRIDGET
Euuurhhh, I feel sick.
Sound of stopwatch counting time
Sound of telephone ringing
BRIDGET
Hello? Oh, not again. Listen, Stuart, OK, I finished with you because you have no personality, no money and no sense of humour. 
More old boyfriends! I don't understand it.
Sound of strumming guitar
BERNARD
Ah, Bridget. At last. Oh, Bridget, my fair. Oh, Bridget, ... ... ....
BRIDGET
Stop! Stop! Why are you doing this?
BERNARD
But you told me to come.
BRIDGET
I told you to come?
BERNARD
I got your text.
BRIDGET
Who is sending all these messages from my mobile? 
Sound of stopwatch counting time
BRIDGET
John? No, I don’t want to see you. Goodbye!
BERNARD
So where is she? I got her message and here I am!
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Call me a witch? You're fired!
BRIDGET
My bag! Handbag, handbag. Grrrr! Eunice is an ugly, bad-tempered witch. Oh, it's you. Oh! Nick! 
Sound of stopwatch speeding up
BRIDGET
It was you, wasn’t it!
HECTOR
I think Bridget should be the winner.
ANNIE
Yes, we'll pay for dinner for two at the Ivy.
BRIDGET
Yes! I'm going to the Ivy!
Eunice?!
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
So what do you want? 
BRIDGET
Huh?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN [Reading text message]
Please come to my flat at 7pm. Now what do you want?
BRIDGET
I didn't text you. 
Ziggy stole my phone and sent those messages.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Hmm.
Sound of strumming guitar
BERNARD
Oh, lady of such beauty I've never seen.
BRIDGET
Who's this?
BERNARD
Lady of such beauty, you shall be my queen.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Bridget, where did you find this man? 
He is perfect for Channel Nine.
BRIDGET
He is?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Absolutely! He'll make a perfect weather man. 
Maybe you can have your job back. Now, come and talk about your contract.
BRIDGET
Weird!!
NICK
Bridget? Hmm, hmm, hmm. [Singing] ‘Oh, Bridget, she's a natural blonde. Her bottom is big and she wears a thong!’ 
So do I get a job too?
COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA, Nick becomes a pilot, Hector is his hostess and why has Eunice come to stay? 
EXTRA, don't miss it.